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Biblical Approach to Problem Solving By Wayne Mack

We want to continue in this hour our discussion of a biblical approach to problem solving.
How do you solve problems?
I said that there are four very important elements or phases in the problem solving
process.
In the last hour we looked at the first phase, namely the matter of diagnosing the problem
or gathering information to make sure that you really know what the problem is that you
are trying to deal with.
You don't want to answer questions that aren't there or solve problems that really aren't
the main problem.
So we talked about diagnosing the problem.
And a number of you have come and talked to me about the fact that it was helpful to be
able to see the problem in perspective.
Now, the second stage or phase of problem solving is discovering the biblical solution
or the biblical alternative.
As far as the word of God is concerned, change is always a two-factored process.
Change is not simply a matter of stopping doing something.
I'm going to grip my teeth and I'm going to stop doing that.
No.
The Bible says that change is always a two-factored process.
You put something off by putting something on.
Let's just imagine that what we have here is a bucket.
It's a bucket that's filled with oil.
Now in getting the oil out of the bucket, and let's assume that you'd want to get the
oil out of the bucket, but to get the oil out of the bucket you could tip the bucket
over and try to drain it out, or you could get the oil out of the bucket by putting another
substance into the bucket so that the oil would be pushed to the top and spill over
the side.
If you filled that bucket with oil or with water, the oil would rise to the top and it
would just naturally flow out of the bucket.
Now your mind is that bucket.
I hope you don't mind me calling your mind a bucket.
But your mind is like that bucket.
Since the time you were born, information was being put into that bucket.
You were being told how to view life, how to live life, how to behave, what's right,
what's wrong, what's good, what's bad, what makes you worthwhile, what's acceptable.
As I said to someone a while ago, I grew up getting my cuddlies, those warm fuzzy feelings,
that sense of acceptance by working.
I worked hard and I got appreciation.
So what was being fed into the computer of my mind was that if you work hard, you're
a good boy.
If you perform well, you're good, you're acceptable.
My parents weren't deliberately teaching me that and probably they didn't mean to communicate
that, but that's the message I got.
And so through life I had that concept of to be good, to be acceptable, to be worthwhile,
I need to be constantly working, working, working, working.
Now how do I change that concept?
Well I've got to find out what God's word says about it.
I need to replace that concept and the other concepts which are unbiblical, the behaviors
which are unbiblical, I need to replace them with biblical patterns, with biblical solutions.
I need to change the information in the computer of my mind.
I need to put new stuff into the bucket of my mind.
Now as I put new stuff into the bucket of my mind, the old stuff is forced out.
So the best way to get rid of the wrong thoughts, the best way to get rid of wrong behaviors
is by putting on new behaviors or putting new thoughts into your mind.
Change is always a two-factor process.
For example, if you have a person who has a problem with alcohol, you will never help
that person to overcome the problem of alcoholism if you only focus on the alcohol, if you only
focus on trying to get him to stop drinking alcohol.
The problem isn't going to be solved in that way.
He must replace that behavior with another behavior.
In the Bible, you always find this dynamic.
You put away falsehood by speaking the truth.
It's not just stop telling lies, no, you speak the truth.
It's not just stop expressing your anger in a sinful way, it's start expressing your anger
in a righteous way.
It's not just stop stealing, it's begin working, working for the purpose of giving to others
who have need.
It's not just stop speaking to others in a wrong way, it's start speaking to them in
a way that will build them up.
The biblical dynamic is always a two-factored process.
Some of you may have been down in Ocean City, New Jersey, it's on an island, and you have
to cross the bridge, there's a bay on this side, the ocean on the other side.
When you are on the ocean side of Ocean City or any of the other towns down along the shore,
you sometimes are sitting on the beach and little birds come wandering by and we call
those birds terns or I call them seagulls.
All right, they're seagulls, so here they are walking around.
Now if you go to the other side of that island where the bay is, you know what happens when
you go to the other side, the seagulls become bagels.
Thank you!
That's great, I like to have one like her in every audience.
You see, a seagull is turned into something else, it becomes a bagel.
And that's the way we deal with our problems.
We have to replace the one pattern, the one habit with another pattern or another habit.
If I were to ask you today to name your favorite tune, right now name your favorite tune.
Name it to yourself, you know, what might it be, you are my sunshine, or some Christian
hymn or whatever, let it roll around in your mind, got it firmly fixed in your mind.
Now stop thinking about that tune.
If I were to ask you how many of you stopped thinking about that tune, if you had a tune,
almost none of you would probably raise your hand because you'd still be thinking about
it.
Come on, stop thinking about that tune.
And I can tell you, stop thinking about that tune until I was blue in the face and still
continue to think about it.
But suppose I just stopped talking about that tune at all and I went on to talk about something
that was really interesting and something that was really gripping, and then ten minutes
later I'd say, how many of you are thinking about that tune?
Probably none of you would raise your hand.
Why?
You see, you'd stop thinking about that tune by starting to think about something else.
And as you start to think about something else, you stop thinking about what you were
previously thinking about.
So the way to change your thoughts and the way to change your actions is to replace them
with something else.
Now the something else with which we should replace them is the biblical alternative,
the biblical solution.
The Bible does have the solution to life's problems.
It not only tells us what we shouldn't do, it tells us what we should do.
And our focus should be on what we should do.
The Bible has a plan of action for every situation.
Second Peter chapter one and verse three says that in the scriptures God has given us everything
that we need for life and for godliness.
In this book, God has given us everything that we need for life, that's for living in
this present world, that's for marriage, that's for our jobs, that's for interpersonal relationships,
that's for handling our finances, that's for getting along with people.
God has given us everything we need to live, to function, just in this world.
Everything we need is in this book.
That's what second Peter one and verse three says.
And God has given us everything we need also for godliness, that is everything we need
as far as our relationship with him is concerned.
Everything we need as far as living in this world is concerned, as far as relating to
other people is concerned, everything we need as far as God is concerned.
Everything is found in this book.
God has a solution to all of your problems, whatever difficulty you have in this book.
Somewhere in the Bible God has a solution.
Now sometimes the biblical plan of action will be very clear, it'll be very plain.
Here's a couple who come to me and they've been married for twenty-six years.
After twenty-five years of marriage, all the children have now departed and have married.
And the woman is very unhappy with her marriage.
Before the children left, she wrapped her life around the children, she was finding
some fulfillment and some meaning in having a good relationship with her children.
There was not very much going as far as her husband is concerned.
He wasn't all that much fun, he didn't have much life to him, watched television a lot
and read a lot, and she liked active things, she liked to go bowling and do other things
and he just wasn't interested in that kind of thing, and so the relationship between
the two of them deteriorated, but she always had the children, she had them to talk to.
She could do things with them, but now they're gone.
And so after twenty-six years of marriage, they don't like each other.
And she looks forward to however many years to living with this guy that she really doesn't like.
This guy with whom she has very little in common.
And she says, I don't think I want to do this.
So she and her husband come and they really want us to put an imprimatur upon their desire
to get a divorce, to get out of this situation, that's the only way out.
But in reference to that, the Bible gives a very clear course of action concerning what
she should do, concerning what her husband should do, and we didn't have to spend a lot
of time finding out what the Bible had to say.
The Bible certainly didn't give them grounds for divorce.
There was no biblical ground for divorce.
So the Bible would have her to become the kind of wife that she should be, and the Bible
would have him become the kind of husband that he should be, and together make this
marriage what it never was.
And even after twenty-six years of marriage, that could happen.
They could have a marriage that sings, they could have a marriage that swims, they could
have a marriage that's going someplace.
And so that was, of course, the direction in which we took the counseling.
The course of action was very clear.
Or here's a fellow who comes to me and he's having a problem with homosexuality.
He really is wrestling with the issue.
He's been involved in some homosexual affairs for four or five years, and yet he's miserable.
He comes and the course of action again is very clear.
He really wants me to say that you were born a homosexual, you've got to adjust to your
homosexual lifestyle, it's all right as long as you're faithful, as long as you're devoted.
But looking at it from a biblical perspective, the course of action was very clear.
The Bible says that homosexuality is wrong, it's a sin.
And the Bible says that you have to put off your homosexuality by putting on something
else.
So we had to find out what he was supposed to put on.
And I think what he was supposed to put on is very clear in the Word of God, and that's
the direction in which the counseling proceeded.
So there are some things on which the Bible is very clear about a course of action.
On other occasions, the biblical plan of action will not be as easily discovered.
Here, for example, is a young lady who comes seeking counsel about whether or not she should
get married.
Now, it isn't that she couldn't get married.
She's had seven fellows in the past who have asked her to marry them, and in each situation
she's turned them down.
Now she comes because she's developed a relationship with an eighth fellow, and she wants to know
if she should marry this guy.
Now I can't turn to the Word of God and say the Bible says in such and such a verse that
you should marry him.
I can't even turn to the Word of God and say the Bible says specifically that you should
get married, because Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians 7 both talk about the fact that God gives
to some people the gift of singleness or the gift of celibacy.
And there are some people who, for peculiar ministries and God's reasons, should remain
unmarried.
So I can't turn to a specific verse of Scripture which points out exactly what this girl should
do.
Well, you see, I believe there are principles in the Word of God to guide her in that situation.
And we looked at the principles and guidelines of the Word of God, and after counseling together
for a number of weeks, we brought the young man in, we counseled along with him, and the
outcome of that particular counseling was she came to the conclusion that it was God's
will for her to get married.
And she got married, and they're doing great.
But I had to search and look at all the principles concerning guidance before she came to a conclusion
that it was the will of God for her to get married.
Or here's the man who comes, he's 40 years of age, he tells me that he's not happy in
the work which he's doing, and he's thinking about a career change.
But he wants to make sure that he's doing the right thing.
Is it right for me at this particular time to change my career, to try to do something
else?
Again, I can't turn to a specific verse of Scripture and say, Thou shalt not make a career
change, or Thou shalt make a career change.
But there are principles and guidelines in the Word of God which we would have to check
out to discover the will of God in that situation, and that's what we did.
Or here's a person who came to me wondering about giving up his business and going back
to school to become a preacher.
He's 45 years of age, he's been saved for a number of years, he isn't really finding
satisfaction in his business.
He's got four children and a wife, and he's thinking about selling his business, selling
his house, and moving several hundred miles to go to college, to go to school, to become
a preacher.
Now again, I can't turn to any verse of Scripture which says, Thou shalt do this or Thou shalt
not, but there were principles and guidelines in the Word of God which we used with this
man to help him to come to some kind of a decision.
In the Word of God, there is a solution to every problem that you have.
There are guidelines that will help you in solving any difficulty that you have in your
life.
Now this means that you must know the Scripture very well.
This means that you must know the passages that deal with particular problems.
You need to know what the Word of God has to say about various matters.
Now the problem with many of us is that we really don't know the Scriptures well enough.
We really don't know what the Word of God says about particular problems.
I had a preacher who took a course some time ago who caught on to the idea of homework,
and in the course of our counseling course we talk about the importance of homework.
Well he got the idea that if you use homework in counseling, why not use it as far as preaching
is concerned?
So he started giving homework to people after he had preached.
Now one Sunday he had preached about the Bible having a solution to their problems.
Then he asked the people to write down five or six of their own problems.
You have a problem with sometimes lying, you have a problem with saying things you shouldn't
say, you have a problem with misuse of time or misuse of money or losing your temper or
whatever, write it down.
Then he said after you've done that I want you to write down five or six specific verses
from the Word of God that would tell you how to solve that problem.
After the service he stood at the door and as people came by he said that many of the
people said I didn't have much of a problem writing down areas in which I was failing.
But I couldn't think of one single scripture verse which specifically told me what to do
about it.
Others came by and they said they could think of one or two and some said they could think
of such verses as I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me, some general verse.
But they couldn't think of one or two or three or four specific scripture verses which told
them what to do about their problems.
This was in a Bible-believing, Bible-preaching church.
And there are many Christians when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of the situation
who really don't know specifically what the Bible says they should do about their problems.
I have a couple of notes from some pastors who took our course.
One of them wrote, being proud like most other pastors.
Now he said that, I didn't.
Being proud like most other pastors, I'm sure that's not true of yours, but he says most
other pastors, I'm sure I was offended if a statement was made about my preaching that
it was not practical enough.
I would immediately rise to self-justification and self-defense.
However, I've concluded that in a great measure the charge is true.
There has been plenty of evidence to substantiate the case and I stand condemned.
Part of the difficulty has been my failure to see just how practical biblical preaching
and counseling has to be if it's to be of any concrete help to the hearer.
Previously, I would argue that if my critic would only read more doctrinal books and become
more theological in his outlook, then he would be able to apply the principles I was teaching
to his real-life situation.
But through this course, I came to discover that more often than not, when I was faced
with a real-life situation and had to put biblical material in a one-two-three format,
I was at a loss as to where to begin and in what direction to go.
But the other half of the difficulty, if the problem has two parts, lies in my lack of
knowledge.
This is a man who has been through Christian college, through seminary, been in the ministry.
He was a missionary for a while.
And after years as a Christian, he says part of the problem lies in my lack of knowledge
of the practical counsel of Scripture and my being able to analyze historical parts
of biblical data in a very down-to-earth manner.
For example, my hitherto cursory knowledge of Proverbs has been shown as very deficient,
and I have already begun a study of systematizing topically the wealth of material collected
there.
I check my findings with appropriate sections of the homework manual for biblical counseling
and the How to Develop Deep Unity in the Marriage Relationship book.
Another example which deserves a section entirely on its own is the put-off-put-on principle
of Ephesians 4.
Having read the biblical material and investigating these statements and having read Dr. J. Adams'
books, I thought I was handling that concept of Christian growth adequately, only to discover
that my approach needed to be broken down even further if it were to be of real help
to people in overcoming their problems.
Now folks, if that's true of preachers, and I have another letter here from another preacher
and I could add a lot of other letters, that preachers have turned into me, that they've
been challenged with how little they really know of the Scripture in a practical way.
If that's true of preachers, I'm convinced it's also true of God's people.
And one of the reasons that people are not overcoming their problems is because they
don't know specifically Scripture which deals with those problems.
So if you're going to overcome your problem, you're going to have to study the Word of
God.
You're going to have to discover exactly what the Bible says about your problem.
How do you do that?
Well, you can do that in at least two ways.
Number one, you can begin to make your own topical work list of Scripture passages that
deal with particular problems.
Years ago, when I began to look at the Scriptures more practically, when I began to use the
Scriptures to deal with specific problems, I took a page of paper for every problem that
I knew, that I might face in my own life or that I might face in trying to help somebody
else.
I had a lot of sheets with words that began with the letter A, adultery, anxiety, adoption,
assurance, alcoholism, whatever.
And I went right through the alphabet with words that began with the letter A, words
that began with the letter B, identifying problems that people have that I might have.
Then in my own Bible reading, as I read through the Scripture and I would come to a passage
that dealt with one of these problems, I would immediately go through this piece of paper
and write it down.
And over the course of several years of study, I developed a lot of Scripture references
which deal with specific problems, and I had them all in a notebook.
Then as I would counsel, I would use these passages in trying to help other people.
The problem of depression was one that I mentioned earlier.
Well, since I had a problem with that in my own life, I went to the Word of God to find
out what the Bible had to say about that problem, and I discovered Bible verses that
told me what I should do about my depression in specifics.
And I suggest that's the type of thing that you ought to do.
You ought to study the Word of God on your own and make your own topical work list.
But there's a second way of approaching this problem, and that is you can benefit from
the studies of others.
A lot of the study that I've done is distilled in the Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling
Volume 1.
In that volume, I have thirty-four problems and a scriptural approach to solving each
of those thirty-four problems.
Some of the research which I've done is distilled in that manual, and you could take each of
those problems, use that book as a devotional book, answer the questions that are found
there, look up the scripture references that are found there, and develop a whole arsenal
of scripture that you would use in dealing with your own problems or in helping others
to solve their problems as well.
And then what I did was I made my own chain reference Bible.
In the front of my Bible, there are some pages that were blank, and I began to list one,
two, three, four different problems that I might face.
And then I would put one scripture verse after the problem, and I would go to that particular
passage in the Word of God, and I would write in next to that passage the next passage that
dealt with that problem, and I would just keep doing that with every passage so I could
work my way through the entire Bible on a particular problem.
I made my own chain reference Bible which dealt with specific problems that I might
face in my own life or in the life of others.
So whenever I bump up against that problem, I can just turn to the scripture and be quickly
informed about what the Word of God has to say.
But if you're going to solve your problem, you must specifically identify what the Word
of God says is the solution, what the Word of God says is the proper action in reference
to the problem that you have.
That's the first, the second step in problem solving.
You first identify the problem, then you discover in specifics what the Word of God has to say.
The Word is quick and powerful, and through the Word, God changes us.
So I'm suggesting identify what your problem is.
If your problem is depression, find out what the Bible says about what you should do.
Not simply what you shouldn't do, but what you should do.
If your problem is anxiety or worry, don't only find out what you shouldn't do, find
out what you should do to conquer the problem of worry.
If your problem is lying, don't only find out what you shouldn't do, find out what God
says you ought to do to overcome the problem of lying.
If your problem is fear, find out what God says you ought to do to overcome the problem
of fear.
There's a solution to every problem that you have in the Word of God.
Thirdly, to overcome problems and to change, you must decisively commit yourself to a biblical
course of action, trusting in the power of the Holy Spirit to produce the change in your
life.
Let me say that again.
You must decisively commit yourself to a biblical course of action, trusting in the power of
the Holy Spirit to produce the change in your life.
Many people know what God wants them to do in certain situations and even admit that
that's what they should do, yet they don't do it.
Again and again they respond to problems in a manner contrary to what they know and admit
to be right.
Why?
In some cases, the problem is not a lack of knowledge, rather the problem is a lack of
decisive commitment to turn their backs on the wrong way of acting and to pursue the
biblical way of living regardless of how they feel.
It's like a little fellow who was told by his mother that he wasn't to go swimming.
A little bit later on, he came back home and he had a wet swimming suit over his arm and
his mother said to him, I thought I told you you weren't supposed to go swimming.
He said, I know, Mom, and I'm really sorry.
I didn't want to go swimming.
She said, well, if you didn't want to go swimming, where'd you get the bathing suit?
He said, I took it along just in case I was tempted.
You know, that little guy hadn't made a decisive decision in his heart that he wasn't going
to go swimming.
He kept the door open.
He didn't lift up his foot and put it down and say, I will not go swimming.
And there are a lot of people who say, I really do want to change.
I know I shouldn't be the way I am.
But they don't come to that place where they say, I will change, I will learn to be different.
They don't make a decision in their heart that even if it takes them to a cross, even
if it's blood, sweat, and tears, even if it's difficult and hard, they're going to do the
right thing.
The Bible makes it clear that people don't change by chance, they change by choice.
People don't change by accident, they change because they decide to change.
And that change starts in here, where you decide that you will not continue to be as
you are, you will learn to be the kind of person God wants you to be.
You will learn to respond, you will learn to act, you will learn to think, you will
learn to react in the way God wants you to think and react.
That's something where a resolution is made right in here.
The psalmist said in Psalm 57, in verse 7, my heart is fixed, oh God, my heart is fixed.
He said, I've made a decision, I've made a resolution.
No point in trying to dissuade me, no point in trying to stop me, I have fixed my heart.
I have made a resolution, I have made a commitment.
What was the commitment he made?
Well the psalmist in Psalm 57 was being persecuted, he was being maligned, ridiculed, and in the
midst of that tough situation where the pressure was on, he made a commitment, he made a resolution,
he made a decision.
And the decision was that he was going to sing and he was going to give praise.
My heart is fixed, oh God, my heart is fixed, I will sing, I will give praise.
Even if I don't feel like singing, even if I don't feel like praising, I have made a
commitment that I'm going to do it.
And so he did.
You see, he made a commitment.
And I'm saying that that kind of commitment where you say, I will, even if it kills me,
I will, even if everything in me rebels against it, I will do what God wants me to do, I'll
follow through with a biblical course of action.
In Luke 15 we have the story of the prodigal son.
And the prodigal son got away into a far country, he lost his substance, ended up working in
a swine pen, feeding pigs, and eating the same food that he gave to the pigs.
Now the psalmist had been miserable and unhappy and deprived for a long period of time.
I mean this didn't happen in a moment.
He lost his money, he spent some time in a swine pen, he didn't have much to eat, wasn't
very good what he ate.
And he knew for a long time that what he had before when he was in the father's house was
much better than what he had now.
And still he stayed in the swine pen.
It wasn't until he came to the place in Luke 15 where he said, I will arise, and I will
go to my father, that anything changed.
It was when he made a resolution, it was when he made a commitment.
He thought if I go back there, what's my older brother going to say?
If I go back there, will Dad receive me?
What's Dad going to say?
Hey, you left buddy, don't come crawling back here.
He thought of how he would be humiliated and how his dad would say, see I told you so.
And how his brother would look down his nose, he thought of all that, I think.
And that may have hindered him from going back, but finally he came to the place where
he said, in spite of all that, I'm going to do it.
I know it won't be easy, I know it's going to be tough, but I will do it.
And it was when he said I will do it and made that commitment that the change came.
And what I'm saying is, first of all, you have to identify what you're doing wrong.
Then secondly, you have to discover what God wants you to do.
And then you have to commit yourself to do it.
And I mean really commit yourself to do it.
To commit yourself by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, to obey God even if you don't
feel like obeying God.
So there are times when it, in a sense, feels so good to allow those wrong thoughts to ramble
around in your mind.
It seems so much easier to continue to think the way that you thought before.
But you've made a commitment, and even though it's tough, you're going to replace those
thoughts with the other thoughts.
You're going to think the things you ought to think instead of the things that you want
to think.
There are going to be times when you're going to be tempted to live the same way you lived
before.
There are going to be times when you don't want to obey, you don't want to follow through.
But you've made a commitment, and so you're going to follow through and do what God wants
you to do even if you don't feel like doing it.
I'm saying until we come to that place where we not only say I should change, a lot of
people say that.
It isn't enough just to say I want to change, no, that won't do it.
It's when we come to the place where we say I must change, and I will change by the power
of the Holy Spirit.
God wants me to do it, it's for my good, and so I will.
I will be satisfied with nothing less than changing in the areas that God wants me to
change.
That's the third step in solving the problem.
The fourth step in solving the problem is structuring your life for biblical change.
Structuring your life for biblical change.
Now we have to bring all of this down to where the rubber meets the rope.
Now we have to make a plan as far as how we're going to accomplish the biblical change.
We know what we should do, we've committed ourselves to do it, now we have to make some
plans about how to do it.
And we've got to structure our life for biblical change.
Now structuring your life for biblical change will involve a number of factors.
Number one, it will involve eliminating from your life or avoiding, if at all possible,
the things, the events, the activities, the associations that put you in a place of unnecessary
temptation.
Eliminate as much as possible any feeding factors.
Romans 13, 14 says that we must not make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust
thereof.
In other words, if a certain event or a certain association has a tendency to put me in a
place of temptation, I will eliminate that feeding factor.
Now some of the feeding factors may be people.
First Corinthians 15, 33 says, be not deceived, evil companionships corrupt good habits.
There are some people, for example, who have a problem with depression.
They also do a lot of talking to other people who have a problem with depression, and they
just kind of feed one another.
Oh, did I have a lousy day, you would never believe what happened to me.
Oh, it's horrible, it's terrible, oh, you think that's bad, you should hear what happened
to me.
And around and around they go.
And they just have a pity party.
And by the time it's all over, both of them are down in the slough to spawn.
They're not doing either of them any good.
And so it may be that you have to say, well, you know, I have a real problem with depression
right now, and it's so easy for me to become discouraged.
I love you.
But I just think that for a period of time, we're not being very good for each other.
And consequently, if we talk to one another, let's commit ourselves to talk about something
positive.
Let's never talk about anything negative, at least for a period of time, because I want
to deal with this problem.
I know of some homosexuals that I have worked with who have had to cut off contacts with
certain people because these people were too much of a temptation to them.
So are there certain people who seem to feed that particular problem?
If it's your husband or wife, you can't cut them off, of course.
But if it's someone else, for a period of time, you may have to avoid that person because
until you get a handle on your problem, I'm not saying forever and a day you avoid that
person.
I'm just saying until you pull yourself out of a slough, despond, and learn how to deal
with your problem, you're in no position to help that other person.
You're doing more damage than you are good.
And the Bible says evil companionships corrupt good habits.
One assignment that I frequently give to people is to have them keep a daily journal of when
they're tempted with this particular problem.
Write down where you are, when it happens, with whom you are, what you do about it.
And sometimes you'll find out that in almost every case, the particular temptation comes
when they're with a particular person.
Well then you've spotted something and you've come to the conclusion of who they should
be careful when they're around.
At least they need a plan of operation as far as what they're going to do when they're
with that person.
Secondly, this may involve eliminating some places from your life.
One young lady who had a problem with lesbianism discovered that she had a severe temptation
when she was at a shopping mall.
She would go into the ladies department and then she might go back into the little booze
to try on some clothes and while she was back there, there were other ladies in a state
of semi-undress and so forth and she would find herself being stirred up in the shopping
mall, in the dressing booths.
And so we eliminated the shopping mall from her activities.
She was not to go to that place.
If she ever did go, she had to go with another strong Christian who would remain with her
at all times to help her to overcome that temptation.
Another young man had a problem in locker rooms, so he had to eliminate locker rooms.
Well, whatever.
Your problem is if you find that there are certain places that feed your problem for
a time until you've overcome it and gotten a handle on it, you may have to stay away
from that particular place.
Now, if your place is the church, then you'd better deal with the problem, see the pastor
or whatever.
Don't stay away from church because that's where you're going to get help.
There are some activities that you may have to eliminate from your life.
The journal may reveal that the time when I'm most tempted is when I'm watching a certain
television program.
I don't wonder that some ladies have a problem with depression who watch the soap operas.
There are other programs on TV also which feed depression or feed anxiety or feed fear.
They see men switching in and out of relationships, and the picture is that all the men out there
are having affairs with somebody else, and a lady sits there watching it and she thinks
my husband's out there, I wonder if he's having an affair, something like that.
So if there are certain TV programs that feed your problem, they'll need to be eliminated.
Don't watch them.
Don't turn them on.
You really want to do something about your problem?
Then stay away from that which really feeds the problem.
It may be there are certain reading material that feeds the problem, and for a time you'll
have to eliminate that particular reading material.
For example, I've dealt with some people who have had a tremendous fear of the devil.
One young lady would find herself fantasizing and would find herself going off into a dream
world, and in her dream world she would begin to worship Satan.
That had to be put off.
The Bible says, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
That had to be put off.
To help her to put that off and to put on the biblical pattern, though, we had to discover
whether there were any feeding factors.
One feeding factor was that she was reading a lot of these books that are now on the market
even from a Christian perspective on Satan.
That was her constant diet, reading books about Satan, and her mind was so focused on
Satan even though it involved some scripture that it was encouraging her problem rather
than helping her to overcome her problem.
So reading that kind of material had to be eliminated at least for a time from her life,
and she had to begin to read other things that would not feed this over-concern about
Satan.
So you have to discover whether there are any feeding factors and if at all possible
eliminate them.
One feeding factor may be daydreaming.
You sit around and daydream.
You daydream about what it would be like to live here or what it would be like to live
there or what it would be like if you had another job or some people dream about what
it would be like to have another wife or what it would be like to have another husband or
what it would be like to have more money.
And the daydreaming, of course, stirs up their passions, it stirs up their lust, and then
they become dissatisfied.
And that leads to depression as well.
So structuring your life for biblical change means that you eliminate anything that feeds
the problem.
Secondly, it means that you add to or continue in your life those things, those events, those
activities, those associations that will encourage the right kind of actions and the right kind
of thinking.
Now what are some of the activities and factors that encourage the right kind of thinking?
Well, one is church involvement, and I mean not just attending, I mean becoming involved.
Another is godly association.
Hebrews 10, 24, and 25 says we're to consider one another to provoke unto love and good
work.
If you have a problem in a particular area, look around for somebody who's got victory
in that area, and catch hold of their coattail, spend time with them, watch them, learn from
them, talk to them about your problem, say I'm having a problem in this particular area.
Open up!
Don't keep it to yourself.
We're supposed to bail one another's burden, we're supposed to help one another.
Look around for somebody who's really got it together, who is experiencing victory,
and turn to them and say I want to learn from you, would you disciple me?
I've got a problem in this area, I need your help.
Would you give me help?
Would you teach me?
Would you share with me how you handle your problem so that I can learn from you?
Godly associations are a way of overcoming your problem.
It's interesting that the Bible says in Proverbs 13, 20, he who walks with a wise man will
be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.
If you want to become wise, spend time with a wise person.
If you want to overcome depression, spend time with somebody who's overcome depression.
If you want to overcome anxiety, spend time with somebody who's overcome anxiety.
Live with them!
Not all the time unless that person is your mate or your husband.
What I mean is spend time with them so that you learn by observation as well as by teaching.
In Proverbs 22, verses 24 and 25, the Bible says don't associate with a man given to anger.
Don't run around with a hot-tempered man because if you do, you'll learn his way.
If you spend time with the wrong kind of people, you'll learn to be like them.
But if you spend time with the right kind of people, people who are making progress,
it's contagious too, and you'll learn how to be like them.
Watch them.
Be willing to learn from them.
Number three, you've got to put on daily regular devotions.
I think that if you've got a particular problem, make your devotions material that deals with that problem.
If your problem is with anger, use your devotional time to discover everything the Bible has to say about anger.
Don't just deal with general topics because you've got a problem in this area.
You need to get the specific medicine from the Word of God that deals with your particular problem.
So you might want to spend a long period of time just using a concordance,
just looking into the Word of God to see what it has to say about dealing with your particular problem.
There are some people who don't know how to have devotions.
They read their Bible.
They really mean business in that sense, and they read their Bible every day, but they don't get much out of it.
They don't know how to apply it to their own lives, so it isn't doing them much good.
It's like a girl that I counseled some time ago who had a problem with bulimia.
Now bulimia is a modern problem that many women have.
Anorexia nervosa was the big problem a few years ago, and to some extent that's still a problem.
But now a lot of women seem to be having a problem with bulimia,
which means that they eat food and then they regurgitate that food.
They throw it up.
Sometimes they induce vomiting.
So here was this girl who had a problem of taking the food in but then throwing it up.
So as a result, the food wasn't really doing her any good.
She took it in and regurgitated it.
Well, I hope you will not be offended by my illustration,
but that's what some people do with the Word of God.
They do take it in, but they might as well not have taken it in because they haven't digested it.
They haven't applied it.
They haven't brought it down to where the rubber meat flew.
Oh yeah, I had my devotions this morning.
Well, how did it apply to your life?
I don't know. I know God is love.
How did it apply to you? I don't know.
How did your life change today as a result of what you studied in the Word of God?
Change?
I mean, nothing changed in their lives.
Every time you're confronted with the Word of God,
every time you have devotions, you ought to come away and say,
Lord, how should my life change?
How does this apply to me day by day and moment by moment?
The Word was not given merely to feed our intellect.
The Word was given to be applied.
And some people don't know how to apply the Word.
One man I counseled with, he read the Bible every day.
He even used a commentary.
Every passage he read, he'd get out his commentary to find out what it meant.
Well, how did it apply to your life?
He never took it that far.
He could explain to you what the passage meant,
but he couldn't tell you how his life should change
as a result of what the passage meant.
And so, in effect, the Word of God wasn't doing him very much good.
So you may have to learn how to really have devotions,
how to really not only interpret, but apply the Word of God.
The Word of God applied is what changes our lives.
If you have a problem with that, seek the help of your pastor
or some other godly Christian.
That's what we're here for, to help one another in that regard.
And in our day, there are a lot of help for you
in learning how to apply the scriptures.
One of them is Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling, Volume 1.
Another is a book by Jay Adams, Four Weeks with God and Your Neighbor.
It's an excellent book to help you to understand how to bring the scriptures down
to where it really applies to your life,
and to force you to change as a result of your Bible study.
So check out Devotions.
Another positive feeding factor that needs to be added is reading material.
Get the right kind of books and devour the right kind of books.
Our minds are changed as we put new things into them.
Or you might want to get tapes. Maybe you're not a reader.
Well, you ought to learn to read at least some,
but in our day and age, there are other things you can do as well.
All kinds of good tapes. Maybe you're a listener instead of a reader.
Well, get some tapes, and every day,
spend some time listening to some tapes and letting the Word of God apply to your audience.
Not enough just to get preaching on Sunday and Wednesday evenings.
That's good. It's important. It's vital.
But you need to get this every day, especially if you're having a problem.
You need input on your problem on a daily basis.
And one way to get that input is by reading material or by way of tapes.
Sometimes in my counseling, I give people tapes.
And I ask them to listen to the tape at least three times this week,
and I give them a list of questions that I want them to answer as they listen to the tape
that help them to apply the message of the tape to their own life.
I want them to play the tape again and again and again and again
until the message of the tape becomes a part of their thinking.
And as their thinking is changed, then of course their feelings are changed as well.
Another feeding factor of a positive nature is taking care of yourself physically.
That means you get the right amount of sleep.
You go to bed at the right time, you get up at the right time.
If you're not getting the right amount of sleep, it's much easier to worry.
If you're not getting the right amount of sleep, it's much easier for you to get depressed.
It's much easier to be fearful.
It's much easier for your imagination to become overactive.
Get the right kind of sleep.
Make sure you eat right.
Make sure you get relaxation.
Make sure you get exercise.
Take care of yourself physically.
If you're having physical problems, then go to a physician and get the physical help that you need.
Another positive feeding factor is to learn to think biblically.
Philippians 4-8 says that whatever things are true, just, right, lovely,
if there is anything of excellence, anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
You've got to think about the things that you ought to think about.
Now you've made a commitment.
The Bible says you're to count it all joy when you encounter various kinds of trials
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
How can you count it all joy when you have a lot of trials and tribulations?
You don't just do it willy-nilly.
You do it because you know something.
You know that the trying of your faith produces endurance.
How can you have peace in your heart when your children are out there on the icy road?
How can you have peace in your heart when the bills come and you're not sure how you're going to pay them
and you've been faithful in not being excessive in your spending?
How can you have peace?
Well, you can have peace because you've got a sovereign God who sits on a throne,
who's promised that he would supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
You can have peace because you know, and it's at the forefront of your mind,
that God causes all things to work together for good to them that love God,
to them that are called according to his purpose.
Now I hear Christian after Christian saying,
I know that, I know Romans 8.28.
Yeah, but is that what you're thinking?
Are you really thinking God is in control?
Are you thinking, oh, something terrible is going to happen?
I don't know how I'm going to handle this.
This is really depressing.
This is really tough.
This is really hard.
Are you thinking, my God is on his throne.
My God is going to work all things together for good.
I love God, and God's promised that he'll take care of me.
And he will, and he will, and he will, and he will.
Is that what you're thinking?
See, if you're thinking that, and you're refusing to think anything else,
your feelings have got to follow suit.
Now I've had the experience, somebody mentioned about finding themselves being hurt
by what somebody else did, and then not being able to put that out of their mind.
Well, I've had that experience myself where someone has said something,
or someone has not done something,
or someone has let me down in one way or another, not risen to my expectations.
And as a result of that, I was hurt.
I was hurt because I was thinking that the person should have done that,
and that the person was really saying, I don't care about you.
I was thinking wrongly.
And I have committed myself not to think that way.
So I've had the experience of wrestling for an hour,
and on a couple of occasions, two hours,
replacing that other thought, God says, God says, God says, God says,
talking to myself, arguing with myself.
It doesn't always happen just like that, that it goes away.
God sometimes allows me to wrestle with it, to struggle with it,
and to see if I really mean business,
and to persevere in replacing the wrong thought with the right thought.
I have to preach the word of God, what the word of God says about this situation,
every time it comes up.
But God says, don't fear.
I am with you.
I will strengthen you.
I will help you.
I will uphold you with the right hand and my right hand.
Yes, but.
But God says, don't fear.
I will strengthen you.
I will uphold you.
And I have to continue to wrestle with that, and preach to myself,
and argue with myself, until finally Satan is defeated.
The other thought is put out of my mind, and then my feelings begin to respond.
I'm not suggesting that it won't be a battle.
I'm not suggesting it won't be a struggle.
I'm not suggesting that once you've experienced some victory, it'll be easy.
As long as we're in this world, we're going to have to wrestle,
we're going to have to struggle, we're going to have to fight with some issues.
God never promised us easy street.
He told us to fight the good fight.
He told us to run with patience the race that's set before us.
And if we will persevere in obedience,
if we will structure our lives for biblical change,
if we will obey God and set our face in that direction,
it doesn't become easy, but I'll tell you what it does become.
It becomes easier.
You see, God has so created us that we have a habit capacity.
We form habits and patterns.
A habit is something you do over and over again,
until finally you do it unconsciously,
you do it almost automatically, you do it comfortably.
Now, many of us learn wrong patterns and wrong habits.
We become comfortable with those patterns and those habits.
It's easy for us to do that, because that's the way we programmed ourselves,
that's the way we've formed habits and patterns.
Now, we come to the place where we realize we have to change, we must change.
We say, I will change, we discover what God wants us to do,
we set ourselves in that direction.
It's hard, it's hard.
Some time ago, I came downstairs in the morning,
had breakfast, was about to leave to go to work,
and I did what I've done for 25 years with my wife.
We're married just about 25 years,
and for 25 years before I leave in the morning,
I put my arms around my wife and I give her a great big hug and a kiss,
and she kisses me.
On this particular morning, I put my arms around my wife,
gave her a hug and a kiss,
and she said, ouch!
I said, what's wrong?
She said, my ear is sore.
She had an infection in her ear.
Would you hug me on the other side?
So I moved to the other side,
and you know what, folks?
It felt weird.
For 25 years, I've been hugging her on this one side.
Every morning, my head goes on this side,
her head goes on this side, my arms go around this way.
Now she says, change!
I changed, and it almost felt immoral.
And I was so glad when her ear got healed
so I could go back to kissing her and hugging her on the other side.
But you see, the reason I found it comfortable to hug on this side
is because I've been doing it that way for 25 years.
Now, if I had practiced doing it on the other side,
as much as I had practiced doing it the other way,
I could become just as comfortable on this side.
I could probably replace it very easily if I just do it in the morning I get up.
Now, don't put your face on this side of your wife.
Put it on the other.
Okay.
And every morning and every time I'd want to hug her, I'd do that.
Eventually, that would become my pattern,
and that would become my habit.
You see, you can change habits and patterns if you really want to.
It's hard to do it, especially when you're trying to change.
Now, usually, when you're trying to change a habit pattern,
you go through several steps.
When you've committed yourself to change,
you often find yourself doing what you've done
and catching yourself after you've done it.
Whoop!
I did it again!
Now, what do you do?
You say, ah, never can change.
That's just the way I am.
You say, oh, God, forgive me.
I failed again.
I did it again.
Thank you for the blood of Christ that cleanses me from sin.
Lord, I'm still going on.
I'm going to change.
Now, help me.
And if you continue to do that every time you fail,
you know what's going to happen?
Pretty soon you'll come to the place where you catch yourself while you're doing it.
There I'm doing it again.
Lord, forgive me.
Lord, help me to change.
Help me to get out of this.
Help me to think the way I should think.
Help me to act the way I should act.
And you change in the midst of it.
If you keep focusing on it on a day-by-day basis,
checking up on yourself constantly,
having somebody else check up on you too,
the time will come when you'll catch yourself before you do it.
Whoops!
That's not what I'm supposed to do.
This is what I'm supposed to do.
And you go ahead and do it.
And if you keep doing that,
eventually you come to the place where you do this
absolutely, automatically, unconsciously, and comfortably.
And this becomes your primary response rather than the other response.
God can change your habit pattern.
God can change your behavior.
God can change your thinking.
He doesn't promise to zap you.
He doesn't promise to do it magically.
He doesn't promise to do it miraculously.
But he promises to do it as you discipline yourself
and train yourself for the purpose of godliness.
Godliness comes as a result of training,
1 Timothy 4 and verse 8.
So there you have a biblical approach to problem solving.
You can take any problem you have,
and if you will face it in that way,
I'm convinced that God can help you to change.
First of all, diagnose your problems.
Secondly, make sure you're clear about the biblical alternative.
Thirdly, commit yourself to follow the biblical alternative
even if you don't feel like it.
To persevere, not to quit after a day or two or a week
or two weeks or three weeks, but to continue...