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Handling the Problems of Old Age By Wayne Mack

Before we actually get into the subject this morning, there are a couple of preliminary remarks that I want to make.
One is that I want to make it clear that I'm not giving my testimony this morning.
LAUGHTER
Somebody asked me the other day, I understand you're giving your testimony, and I looked at them with a blank expression,
and they said, well, aren't you speaking on the peculiar problems and blessings of old age?
LAUGHTER
I'm not going to have time this morning to get into all of the scriptures that relate to the subject of old age.
I do have most of the key passages listed on a transparency.
I was going to put it on an overhead projector, but I couldn't find an overhead projector
in a flashlight I didn't think would work the whole way to the back of the auditorium.
So if you'd like to have these key passages, I'll be glad to leave you copy them off of this transparency.
And then one other thing, if you're a pastor, or if you're among that category that would be classified old age,
or if you're heading toward that time in life, you ought to get down to the community agency for the aging
in your particular area and find out what services are available, paid for by the government, for the aging.
I was amazed as I checked into this in my own community as to how many things are available.
I didn't know about them and I think there are a lot of older people who don't know about them.
Free services that you could be benefiting from. I have a package with some of that material
and if you'd like to look at it, I'll leave it up here in the front and you can look at it afterwards
and then get down to the community agency for the aging and pick up that material for yourself.
Someone has said that youth is a blunder, manhood is a struggle, and old age a regret.
Someone else has said that everyone wants to live a long time, but almost no one wants to get older.
And I think these two statements reflect the attitude that many people have toward old age.
Many people look upon old age as a time of regret. Almost everyone wants to live a long time,
but very few of us really want to get older.
I mean, why is it that many of us become very cagey about telling other people our age?
Why is it that we consider it to be rude and something of an insult?
I suppose this is more true among ladies than it is among men, but nevertheless,
why is it that we consider it to be off-bounds for someone to ask us how old we are?
Or why is it that we're so flattered when someone thinks that we're younger than we are?
Our church has a softball team and we play in the league, and I happen to be the catcher on the team.
And so one day a few weeks ago, we were playing a team which had an older fellow playing third base.
He came up to bat and I stood behind him, and while we were waiting for the first pitch,
I engaged him in conversation, and he shared with me the fact that he had two sons who were playing on the team.
I told him I had two sons who were also playing.
He told me that he was 44 years of age and I told him that I was 41.
So when it came our time for bats, I was standing along the sideline,
and there were some of the other fellows standing around, and they were looking out at this fellow who was playing third base.
And they said, isn't it wonderful to see an older man playing on a team like this?
And I said, what do you mean older man?
He's only three years older than I am.
And they looked at me and they said, he's only three years older than you are?
I thought he was at least ten years older than you are.
Well, you can believe I've told that story a few times.
I couldn't wait for the opportunity to tell it here.
Why? Because I've adopted the idea that there's something wrong about getting old
and there's something wonderful about staying young.
Now I can understand, when I'm in my saner moments, why the unsaved person can dread becoming old
and why the unsaved person would worship at the shrine of youth.
But from a biblical point of view, there's absolutely no reason why we who are Christians should dread getting old.
The Bible has some wonderful things to say about old age.
Proverbs 4.18 says, the path of the just is as a shining light that shines more and more unto the perfect day.
Now just a couple days ago, we had a beautiful day. It was Sunday.
We got up in the morning, the sun began to shine, and by the time noontime had rolled around,
the sun was at its zenith, the sky was blue, the clouds were fluffy, it was beautiful.
But then two o'clock came, three o'clock came, four o'clock came, and the sun began to get dimmer and dimmer,
and finally nighttime came and our beautiful day was gone.
Now the Bible says that's not the picture of the Christian.
The path of the just is as a shining light that shines more and more unto the perfect day.
And as far as the life of a Christian is concerned, his life never comes to its zenith and then begins to get dimmer and dimmer.
That's not the picture of the Christian in the word of God.
Proverbs 16.31 says, the gray head, which symbolizes youth, is a crown of glory.
It's not something of which we should be ashamed. It's not something we should despise.
It's a crown of glory if it be found in the way of righteousness.
And of course, to be found in the way of righteousness involves justification.
It involves being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that's in Christ Jesus.
And if a man is justified by the grace of God through faith in Jesus Christ,
having been cleansed by the precious blood of our Lord, then the gray head is a crown of glory.
But to be found in the way of righteousness also involves sanctification.
It involves holiness. It involves righteousness. It involves practical obedience to the word of God.
And if an older person is found in the way of righteousness, practicing the word of God,
then the gray head is a crown of glory. It's something of which that person should be proud.
And it's something that we should revere and honor.
And it's interesting, in Leviticus 19 and verse 32, how people are condemned for not revering the gray heads,
for not showing respect to those who have age.
In Psalm 92, verses 12 through 15, the Bible says the righteous man is like the cedars of Lebanon.
He's like a palm tree. I think it's significant that the Bible compares the righteous man to a cedar of Lebanon.
I was in Lebanon a few years ago, and we went up to the top of Mount Lebanon,
and there we saw seven cedar trees, and our guide told us that they went all the way back to the time of Solomon.
That's 3,000 years. Now, I don't know if they really do go all the way back to the time of Solomon,
but they do go back several hundred years, and the picture of a cedar of Lebanon is longevity.
And those trees are beautiful. They're still green.
And so when the Bible says the righteous man is like a cedar of Lebanon,
it's giving us a picture of someone who is continuously productive.
And then it says that the righteous man is like a date palm tree.
Now, a date palm tree, I'm told, continues to bear fruit until it's 100 years old,
and some of them bear fruit a long time after that.
Charles Spurgeon says that there are at least 300 uses for a date palm tree.
And a date palm tree of 100 years of age sometimes bears as much as 100 pounds of dates.
And so the Bible's picture is that of an older person continuing to bear fruit.
And in that same psalm, it says that the righteous man shall still bring forth fruit in old age.
He is very green, and he is full of sap.
In old age, the Bible says the righteous man continues to bear fruit.
In old age, he is very green. In old age, he is full of sap.
And so all of these verses indicate that for the child of God, age does not have to be a time of regret.
And what these verses declare propositionally is illustrated by an abundance of historical and current examples.
Take, for example, the case of Moses.
Moses didn't begin his great life's work until he was 80 years of age.
His most productive period of life was after he was 80,
because that's when God called him to leave the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt.
Or take the example of Caleb. I think Caleb is one of my favorite old people in the word of God.
In Joshua the 14th chapter, we have the story of Caleb when he was 85 years of age.
And what a man he was at 85.
Now, you remember Caleb was one of the 12 men that were chosen to go in and spy out the land of Canaan.
And he was the fellow who came back, and he said, let's go in and take them. With God's help, we can do it.
And 10 of the others said, forget about it. There are giants in the land. We can't do it.
Caleb said, let's go do it.
He was a man with vision. He was a man with courage. He was a man with faith.
And of course, there are many of us who are men of faith and courage and vision at 40,
but what happens by the time we become 85?
Well, let's look at Caleb in Joshua 14.
They've come into the land of Canaan. They've captured most of the land.
But here comes Caleb to Joshua, and he says, I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me.
As my strength was then, so my strength is now for war and for going out and coming in.
He's not sitting back and saying, let the younger fellows do it.
They've got the strength. It's time for me to retire.
I've done my work. Now I can just sit back and take it easy and look at the young fellows as they do the work. Oh, no.
Caleb says, I'm still as strong as I was in the day of Moses for going out and coming in.
Now then, give me this hill country. I don't want the valleys. I don't want the plains. I want challenges.
Give me the hill country about which the Lord spoke on that day,
for you heard on that day that the Anakim, the giants, were there with great fortified cities.
And so here's Caleb at 85 years of age. He's still full of sap. He's still very green.
He's still bearing fruit in his old age. Or think of Anna in Luke 2.
Eighty-four years of age and yet she's serving God night and day in the temple.
Or Paul in Philemon 9. He calls himself Paul the agent.
Paul was willing to do what many people aren't willing to do.
You know, if you're 30, an old person is someone over 40. If you're 40, an old person is someone over 50.
If you're 50, an old person is someone over 60. If you're 60, an old person is someone over 70.
And if you're 70, an old person is anyone who's just a couple years older than you are.
But here's Paul. And that's why I was afraid I wasn't going to be preaching to anybody this morning,
because no one would admit they were old. But then I did have a few people who did say they were.
But here's Paul, willing to call himself Paul the agent.
And yet some of his greatest work was done as an old man while he was in prison, restricted in many ways.
And so I say to you, that old age for the child of God does not have to be a time of regret.
Indeed, it can be a time of blessing and a time of fruitfulness.
Now please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that old age doesn't have its peculiar problems and temptations.
And I'm not minimizing these problems and temptations.
But I want you to know that for the Christian, along with the peculiar problems and temptations,
there are also peculiar blessings and compensation.
And I want you to know that for the Christian, along with the peculiar problems and temptations,
there is also a biblical way of overcoming those problems and temptations.
And there is a biblical way of facing and handling these problems.
Scripture says there hath no temptation or are taken you, but such is his common demand.
But God is faithful who will not suffer you, whether you be a teenager or whether you be a middle-aged person
or whether you be an older-aged person.
God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you're able,
but will with the temptation, even old age temptations, provide a way of escape that you may be able to bear it.
Now that verse contains promises.
Promises for teenage Christians, promises for middle-aged Christians, and promises for old-aged Christians.
And it says that no problem you have is unique.
There are other people who have the same problems you have.
It says that God will not give you more than you can endure.
You can't say, I have more than I can bear.
The promise is that God will provide for you a way of escape.
You may be in a room and you may think there are no windows in that room.
You don't know my problems. You don't know my difficulties, my aches, my pains, and all the rest.
You may look around and see no windows. You may find no doors.
But the fact that you don't see the windows or that you don't see the doors
doesn't mean that there isn't a door there or that there isn't a window there.
God says there is.
And you must believe his word and look for the door and look for the window and look for the way out.
And all of this is based upon the veracity, the truthfulness, the faithfulness of God.
God is faithful.
He's made a promise that he won't give his children any more than they can bear,
but will also provide for them a way of escape.
And if we are being overcome, defeated by our problems,
it's because we're not laying hold of our biblical resources.
It's because we're not facing and handling the problems in a biblical way.
Now, with that in mind, I want to share with you some of the peculiar problems and temptations of old age.
And then I want to move on to make some practical suggestions
which will help to make the autumn of life a very fruitful time of life.
One of the many problems that older people face is loneliness.
Many older people feel like the man in John chapter 5.
Jesus came to that man and he said, Do you want to be made well?
And he said, I have no man to help me.
No one cares. I'm all alone.
He was in the midst of a crowd of people and yet he felt all alone as though no one cared.
I have no one to help me.
And I've heard many older people say something like that.
I have no one to help me. No one really cares.
My children don't care. My neighbors don't care.
Even the people down at the church don't care.
I think there are many older people who would re-echo the words of the psalmist in Psalm 102 verses 6 and 7
where he said, I'm like a pelican in the wilderness.
I'm like an owl of the waste places.
I'm like a lonely bird on the housetop.
Now a pelican isn't supposed to be found in the wilderness.
You find pelicans where there's water and if a pelican is in the wilderness, he's usually there alone.
An owl is not found out in the desert.
An owl is found in a place where there are trees.
And so if an owl is out there in the waste places, he's usually out there alone.
And a bird is not found on the housetop alone usually.
He's usually found there with a group of other birds.
And so if he's on the housetop, he's a lonely bird.
And there are many older people who feel that they're like pelicans in the wilderness,
like owls in waste places, and like lonely birds on the top of a house.
Some of these people are in nursing homes where their own children don't visit them.
I've talked to nursing home directors and they've told me that some of the older folks
have been put in there and they've not had a visitor for months.
Even their own children don't come to visit them.
The only people they see are other older people and that's sad.
I was in a nursing home a few months ago and walking down the hall
and one of the old ladies in there laid hold of my arm
and she grabbed hold of me and she didn't want to let go.
And she tried to communicate with me. She was lonely.
She was reaching out for somebody to care.
And I finally had to pull myself literally away from her.
Some of the nurses came and they pulled her away from me or I couldn't have gotten away.
Recently in the Philadelphia area, one of our nurses told me about a story.
It's a true story about a woman with whom she had had contact.
This certain woman lived all by herself in a home.
And one day the neighbors became aware that they hadn't seen this old lady for quite a while.
And they became concerned and called the police and the police came and entered her home
and they found her sick, emaciated, unable to get up.
They took her out of her home and into a hospital and there they cared for her
until she became strong enough to go back home.
They told her that she could go back home.
But they said, before you go back home, we're going to have to do one thing.
We're going to have to send some exterminators into your home.
We're going to have to kill all the rats and all the mice that are running around.
And she begged them not to kill the rats and mice because she said they're the only friends I have.
They're the only friends I have.
There are a lot of lonely, older people in our world.
And then another problem that many older people face is a feeling of uselessness or worthlessness.
In 2 Samuel 19, David is on his way back to the city of Jerusalem after Absalom has been conquered.
And as he goes back, he comes across a man by the name of Barzillai the Gileadite.
Now Barzillai had helped David when he was fleeing from Jerusalem by providing food for him.
And now David decides he's going to reciprocate and he's going to honor Barzillai.
And he invites Barzillai to come back to Jerusalem and feast off of the king's table.
But Barzillai refuses to come.
And I think one of the reasons that he refused to come was because he didn't want to get away from familiar surroundings.
Another reason was he wanted to die with his friends and with his relatives.
But I have a suspicion that one of the biggest reasons why Barzillai didn't want to go is revealed in verse 35.
He said, I am now 80 years old. Can I distinguish between good and bad?
Can your servant taste what I eat or what I drink? Or can I hear any more of the voices seen, men and women?
Why then should your servant be an added burden to my Lord the King?
In essence, what he was saying, look David, I'm useless.
If I would go with you, I'd just be a burden.
I wouldn't be any good to anyone. I have nothing to offer you. Let me stay here and just let me die.
And I suggest to you that there are many older people in our world who feel very useless and very worthless.
I've had many people say to me, I'm useless, I'm worthless, I'm no good to anybody.
I don't know why the Lord doesn't take me home.
And for every person who says that, there are others who feel that way.
Sometimes this feeling comes as a result of poor health.
A person has become incapacitated, bedfast, immobile.
A person has become dependent on other people and they begin to feel as though they're just a burden to everyone
and they begin to long to be taken out of this world because they don't want to be a burden to other people.
So they're useless and they're worthless.
Sometimes the feeling comes when the last child leaves the home.
This is especially true for the woman.
Her whole life to a certain extent, if she's had children, has been wrapped around her children.
She's lived for her children, she's fed her children, she's clothed her children.
She's cooked for her children, she's cleaned for her children.
And now all of a sudden her purpose and meaning for living is walking out the door
and life comes crashing down around her. What's she going to do now?
Her usefulness, her worthfulness is walking out the door.
How is she going to be useful anymore? The kids won't need me.
And she has this feeling of emptiness.
I counseled with a woman just recently who had what she called a down, down, down feeling.
She said, I get up in the morning and I just feel down, down, down.
And I began to probe and I discovered that she had one daughter
and that daughter was just about to leave home.
I believe that woman was facing a real breakup as far as the meaning and purpose for her life was concerned.
Sometimes this feeling of uselessness happens after a man retires from his job.
For 40 years of life the man has been busy doing something useful.
He's been making something, he's been helping people, he's been counseling, teaching.
And then he retires and he begins to sit around and take it easy.
He gets up when he wants to get up, goes to bed when he wants to go to bed,
goes where he wants to go, comes when he wants to come.
There's no routine to his life as he once had.
He doesn't have to keep schedule. His time is his own.
But in spite of this newfound freedom and liberty, he isn't satisfied.
And he begins to feel that something is missing. He feels useless and worthless.
And then another problem that many older people face is the problem of diminished strength or impaired health.
According to Joshua 14 and verse 11, Caleb said, I'm as strong now at 85 as I was when I was 40.
There aren't many 85-year-old men who can say that.
For most 85-year-old men, the miles seem to be longer.
The steps and hills seem to be getting higher.
The suitcases and other packages seem to be getting heavier.
The way that people speak seem to be getting softer.
The activities and interests which they once had seem to be more demanding.
And what's happening?
There's the process of aging where impaired health sets in and where diminished strength becomes a reality.
And that takes a toll on a man or a woman.
Ecclesiastes 12 describes very vividly this aging process.
Scripture says, Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth before the evil days come,
and the years draw near when you will say, I have no delight in them.
Before the sun, the light, the moon, and the stars have darkened, and the clouds return after the rain.
And the picture is here, that of a storm coming.
And before that storm even passes off of the scene, another storm comes on.
The clouds come before the rain has even passed.
And one storm, one problem, seems to follow another problem.
And he's speaking about oldings.
In the day that the watchmen of the house tremble, at one time he had strong arms and he could lift almost any burden.
And he really had a feeling of accomplishment when his dear, weaker vessel would turn to him with a jar and say,
Honey, take the lid off of this jar for me.
He was needed then. Now she turns and she says, Take the lid off of the jar.
And he grunts and he groans and the lid doesn't budge.
You see, the watchmen of the house begin to tremble.
And furthermore, the mighty men stoop, referring to the legs.
At one time he could run. At one time he could play basketball.
At one time he could run for miles.
But now, the mighty men begin to stoop.
The grinding ones, referring to the peeps, stand idle because they're few.
And those who look through the windows, his eyes become dim.
He has to get bifocals and then he has to get trifocals and stronger and stronger glasses.
And still he can't see very well.
And the doors on the street are shut as the sound of the grinding mill is low and it's talking about the ears.
He doesn't hear as well.
Either people are speaking more softly or else he's not hearing as well.
The almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper drags himself along, and the caperberry is ineffective.
For man goes to his eternal home while the mourners go about in the street.
It talks about one will arise at the sound of the bird and all the daughters of song will sing softly.
That either means that he can't speak as loud or it means that when others are singing he doesn't hear them quite as well.
And so here we have a vivid picture of impaired health or diminishing strength as the aging process continues.
One of the problems that they often face is the matter of fear.
I think we see that in Ecclesiastes 12.
It says in verse 5,
Furthermore, men are afraid of a high place and of terrors on the road.
There are fears that come into the life of an older person that he may have had before he became old,
but now they become accentuated, now they become exaggerated, things that he can roll with, now become terrifying to him.
The fear of becoming useless, of becoming a burden, the fear of becoming senile.
Someone talked to me just this week and said, you know, one of the greatest fears I have about becoming old is becoming senile.
I've been to the nursing homes and I've seen these old folks sit around in these wheelchairs staring off into space,
and I dread becoming old and becoming senile.
The fear of losing your independence when you've been a very independent kind of person.
The fear of losing your spouse by way of death.
The fear of not being able to support yourself when you've always supported yourself and never taken charity.
The fear of not being able to cope with new situations or old situations.
The fear of being rejected.
The fear of people having people pity you instead of respect you and snicker about you behind their backs,
as you've heard when you were younger, jokes told about older people.
The fear of making a fool of yourself.
The fear of your own demise.
Oh, you're a Christian and you know that Christ has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
But there are those times when unbelief and doubts come in and you fear the prospect of death at Wide River.
And then there's not only the emotional problem of fear, there's the emotional problem of resentment and bitterness.
As you sit there by yourself, it's easy to become resentful and bitter at your children and to think they don't care.
It's easy to begin to take it out on them and expect them to cater to you.
It's easy to become resentful at the people in the church.
They just aren't concerned about older people.
Look at all the attention they're giving to the youth.
Bitterness and resentment of society.
They don't care about older people in this society.
They're passing us by.
And even bitterness and resentment against God for taking a spouse or for allowing you to grow old and decrepit and what you think, useless.
And then along with this temptation, there's the temptation to become very self-centered,
the temptation to be full of self-pity, to spend long periods of time thinking about how you're being mistreated or ignored,
about how bad your situation is, wondering what you ever did to deserve what you're getting,
remembering how good you were to your children and how good you were to other people,
and making excuses for yourself as to why you can't do this and why you can't do that or go here or go there.
Someone has said that as people grow older, they pass through three stages.
First of all, there's the stage where you get up and go.
You're looking forward to it and now you have your freedom and you just get up and go.
And then there comes the stage where your get up and go has gotten up and went or gone.
And finally you come to that place where it's the why bother.
It's too much trouble to get dressed. It's too much trouble to get out. I think I'll just stay home.
Now unless there are physiological reasons for that, often that's the result of self-pity.
It's a result of bitterness. It's a result of resentment. Poor me.
And it also is an attempt to manipulate others to get your own way.
And then there's the problem of false guilt, sometimes real guilt.
And there's the problem of being regressed, looking back at what you could have done.
Oh, if I only had my life to live over again, I'd do this or I'd do that.
If I could only raise my children over again, look at my children, look at how I failed them.
Look at the way I treated people and looking back and getting all guilty and all uptight
about what you didn't do that you should have done.
And that becomes a cancer that eats away at you and causes you to be useless in the present.
Well, there are some of the problems of old age, and at this point I want to turn from
the unpleasant task of listing problems to the more joyous task of offering some solutions.
At this point I want to make some positive suggestions which will help to make old age
the time of blessing and fruitfulness that God intended it to be.
First of all, to make old age a time of blessing, never think about retiring from work.
Never think about retiring from work.
In Proverbs 14, 23, the Bible says in all labor there's what? Prophets.
Ecclesiastes 5, 12 says, the sleep of a laboring man is much sleep.
And I think it's significant to notice that in the Garden of Eden before sin ever entered the world,
God put man to work. He said to Adam, I want you to kill the ground.
And so work is not part of the curse, it's part of the good things that God has provided for us.
And I think it's significant to notice that Revelation 22 says that in heaven His servants shall serve Him.
In Revelation 7, 15 we read that they serve Him day and night, forever and ever.
And so heaven isn't going to be a place of idleness, it's going to be a place of meaningful activity
and meaningful work, and God made man to work.
And so I suggest that if old age is significant...