Encouragement: Chapter Summaries 2- 3 Dr Larry Crabb
Chapter 2. The Power of a Well-Timed Word
Crabb makes the following points:
There is significant power in the way words are used:
- Death and life are in the power of the tongue - Prov 18:21
- Good words can make an anxious heart glad - Prov 12:25
- A soothing tongue is a tree of life - Prov 15:4
- Pleasant words are... sweet to the soul and healing to the bones - Prov 16:24
- Like apples of gold in settings of silver
Is a word spoken in right circumstances - Prov 25:11
- How delightful is a timely word - Prov 25:23
- ‘James warns us that although the tongue is a small part of the body, it has the power to
determine the whole course of human existence (James 3:5-6)’ - p19
• He defines the core theme of the book:
‘encouragement through careful selection of words that are intended to influence another
person meaningfully toward increased godliness.’ - p20
• There are three (3) types of words:
1. Shallow Words - these are words that are spoken insincerely where we might say
something but possibly mean something entirely different. They lack genuine, heartfelt
meaning and as a result do not have much impact.
2. Death Words - by this Crabb is referring to words that ‘destroy’. They are painful, critical
words that can have an ongoing negative effect on those to whom they are spoken.
3. Life Words - these are the kind of words we are instructed to speak as believers in
Ephesians 4:29 ‘...let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful
for building others up according to their needs, that is may benefit those who listen.’
Chapter 3. Surface Community: The Obstacle to Encouragement
• Often our conversation lacks meaning and not many people feel that their words really help
others. Crabb suggests that in order to overcome this problem we need to fist understand ‘the problem of surface community, a kind of relational structure that prevents words from realizing their potential to encourage’ - p28.
With specific reference to Genesis 3, and the results of rebellion against God, Crabb outlines what is now at the heart of people (and therefore at the heart of surface community) using these terms:
1. The Core Emotion - fear is now the dominant emotion in the heart of all people. This comes from no longer being on friendly terms with God. Before there were no barriers, distance of tension but now relationships are messed up and life is filled with all sorts of uncertainty. We cannot control our lives as we desire. This kind of fear is evident throughout Scripture.
2. The Core Motivation - like Adam we are naked before God. It was not simply physical
nudity that was Adam’s problem but he knew deep down he was unacceptable to God.
Similarly deep down we have a sense that something is wrong with us:
‘if we take the time to examine ourselves according to the standards of holiness - a humbling
but necessary exercise - we must inevitably conclude that we are not simply unattractive, but
unacceptably ugly’ - p31.
So we fear rejection and, more specifically, we fear rejection from being exposed ofr who we
really are - ‘that beneath the make-up of decency, kindness, generosity and stylish clothing is
someone who, if truly known, would provoke disapproval and criticism’ - p32.
3. The Core Strategy - like Adam in the garden we try and hide our true condition not wanting to be found out. As Crabb puts it we are desperately looking for ways to cover our unworthiness and feel good about ourselves although we are really deserving of rejection.
This results in putting on protective outer layers where where we try and put forward the person we want to be to stop us being exposed. (Crabb lists numerous strategies including excessive joking, silliness, boasting, manipulative tears, false humility, shyness etc.) At the end of the day we end up relating ‘layer-to-layer’ not making ourselves vulnerable. Our community becomes superficial and we’re unable to really encourage one another.
Encouragement The Key to Caring, Dr. Larry Crabb & Dr. Dan Allender, 1984, ZondervanPublishingHouse, USA